I'm 32 years old, and my life looks almost nothing like I imagined it would when I was in my early 20s.
I thought by now I'd own a home, have multiple children, and most definitely have my career figured out.
Turns out, I had no idea what I was talking about. 😂
And lately, I've been thinking about how much pressure we put on ourselves to have everything figured out by a certain age.
Why does everything in our 30s suddenly feel like all or nothing?
There's this expectation that we should be married, have kids, own a home, be established in our careers, and somehow have time to maintain friendships, exercise, eat healthy, and enjoy life.
It's exhausting just thinking about it.
And the funny thing is, we're still so young.
There's still so much life ahead of us. So why do we act like turning 30 means we're running out of time?
The Pressure to Keep Up
One of the hardest parts about being in your 30s is watching everyone around you enter different stages of life.
Some friends are getting married. Others are having babies, buying homes, traveling the world, or reaching major career milestones.
And while you're genuinely happy for them, sometimes you can't help but wonder, Am I behind?
I've certainly had those moments.
But I'm starting to realize that someone else's timeline has absolutely nothing to do with mine.
We can celebrate the people around us without feeling like we need to accomplish the exact same things.
Maybe you want to get married someday. Maybe you don't. Maybe you're thinking about starting a family, changing careers, moving somewhere new, or completely starting over.
Whatever it is, you deserve the space to figure out what you actually want instead of chasing what you think you're supposed to want.
And you don't have to figure it all out today.
What I Thought My Life Would Look Like
When I think about the life I imagined for myself ten years ago, I almost have to laugh.
I was so certain about everything.
I thought I'd be a lawyer, own a beautiful home, and have a few kids running around by now.
Well, here we are.
I live in an apartment, and honestly, I have absolutely no desire to own a home right now. I have one daughter who keeps me more than busy and fills my heart in ways I never imagined. We'd love to have more children eventually, but I'm enjoying this chapter of motherhood.
And my career? Well, that's been an interesting journey of its own.
I'm not a lawyer, and I'm not working in some fancy office like I once imagined. Instead, I have the pleasure of working from home while building Pure Calm Life into something much bigger than a blog.
And you know what?
I'm actually pretty happy about some of those things.
That's what I've been reflecting on lately.
Sometimes we're so focused on the things we haven't accomplished that we completely overlook everything we've already built.
I have a family I love. I get to spend time with my daughter. I have the opportunity to explore something I'm genuinely passionate about through yoga and wellness.
Does that mean I'm completely satisfied with every part of my life? Of course not.
There are still things I want to accomplish, changes I want to make, and days when I question what I'm doing.
But I'm also beginning to understand that the life I thought I wanted at 22 doesn't necessarily have to be the life I want at 32.
And maybe that's not such a bad thing.
Maybe it means I'm growing.
Learning to Feel Grounded in the Unknown
One thing I want to make clear is that I absolutely do not have life figured out.
Not even close.
There are days when I feel excited about the future and everything I want to create. And there are other days when I feel overwhelmed, uncertain, or like I should be doing more.
I'm learning to accept that both feelings can exist.
Over the years, yoga, meditation, and journaling have helped me become more aware of how I'm feeling instead of constantly trying to push those feelings away.
And no, that doesn't mean I wake up every morning feeling peaceful and perfectly balanced.
I wish. 😂
But I've learned how important it is to slow down and check in with myself.
Sometimes that looks like getting on my yoga mat, even if it's only for a few minutes. Other times, it's opening my journal and writing down everything that's been on my mind.
I find that journaling is especially helpful when I'm feeling lost because it gives me an opportunity to ask myself questions I don't always make time to consider.
What do I actually want out of life?
Am I pursuing something because it makes me happy or because I feel like I should?
What parts of my life are bringing me joy right now?
What needs to change?
I don't always have the answers, but sometimes just asking myself these questions helps me understand what I'm feeling.
Beyond yoga and journaling, I've also found comfort in therapy, nourishing my body, staying organized, continuing to learn, and making time for the things that genuinely interest me.
None of these habits magically make life's uncertainties disappear.
They simply help me feel a little more connected to myself while I navigate them.
And sometimes, that's enough.
Giving Myself Permission to Change
Something I've been reminding myself lately is that I'm allowed to change my mind.
I'm allowed to pursue something for years and eventually realize it's no longer what I want.
I'm allowed to have new dreams, different priorities, and interests that look nothing like the ones I had in my 20s.
And I'm allowed to be grateful for my life while still wanting more for myself.
I can love being a mother and still have personal ambitions.
I can appreciate the stability of my career while exploring something completely different.
I can enjoy where I am today without giving up on where I want to go tomorrow.
I think sometimes we become so attached to the version of ourselves we thought we'd become that we forget to make room for the person we're becoming now.
And that's something I'm actively working on.
Instead of constantly asking myself why I haven't reached certain milestones, I'm trying to focus more on whether the life I'm creating actually feels meaningful to me.
Because what good is checking every box if those boxes don't even represent what you truly want?
You're Not Running Out of Time
If you're in your 30s and feeling a little lost, I hope you know you're not alone.
Maybe your career isn't where you thought it would be. Maybe you're questioning a relationship, reconsidering your goals, or trying to rediscover who you are outside of motherhood or work.
Or maybe everything looks great from the outside, but something still feels like it's missing.
Whatever season of life you're in, I hope you give yourself some grace.
You don't need to have every answer right now.
You don't need to accomplish everything on the timeline you created ten years ago.
And you certainly don't need to measure your life against someone else's.
There's still so much time to learn, grow, change your mind, and create a life that feels like your own.
As for me, I'm trying to spend less time worrying about what comes next and more time appreciating what's right in front of me.
My little apartment. The moments with my daughter. The business I'm slowly building. The things I'm learning about myself along the way.
This is my life right now.
And while I may not know exactly what the future holds, I'm giving myself permission to enjoy the present while I figure it out.
I hope you do, too.
Let's keep figuring it out together.
If you're navigating your own season of change, I'd love for you to join the Calm Collective, where I share reflections on life, mindfulness, yoga, and creating healthy habits that help us feel more connected to ourselves.
We're all learning as we go. 💛
